Love and Heartbreak

"I have never love you." words that cuts my heart like a knife. I had never expected you to say that. I just wanted you to reassure me of your love when I asked the question "Do you still love me?" I was dumbfounded upon hearing those words. I can't think straight and just had to say goodbye. For days I feel like a zombie, living yet feeling dead.... crying myself to sleep yet have to show a brave front for everyone to see that i am okey. I just can't stop the tears rolling down my face whenever i remember the words. I have to command myself to be strong... be strong for the pain will come to pass.....

People say I am a strong woman, independent and dependable. But being with you these past months made me realized that i needed someone to lean on.... someone to take care of me.. to love me and i will love. My days revolved around you. Every seconds i have no work, i wanted to spend with you. I believe I spent my waking and sleeping hours with you because you never left my mind and heart. I never loved a man like the way I love you.

Today, i saw your new look. You loss weight due to those days you were fasting. I was continually praying you will be strengthen and will not be sick. And I believe my prayers were answered. You look great and in good health. But, what really surprised me with this look was the shaving of your mustache. You never wanted to shave your mustache before. Or maybe she asked you to and because you love her that much, you're willing to sacrifice. Well, that's what love can do. She is happy.. you are happy.. and I am willing to be happy for you eventhough my heart is in pain.

How love can change one's world. Two hearts joined together can create a rainbow out of the rain and sunshine. But one broken heart can make a choice. Will she lives in darkness and be destroyed.... or live in hope till the clouds will clear? The decision is mine...

Missing You

i've been living alone

trying to get you out of my life

but after all this time

i can't help myself but miss you

you're once a dream that came true

an illusion that turned to reality

but suddenly things turned out differently

from the way they used to be

then i have no choice but to let you go

you're the reason for my sleepless nights

coz you keep stayin' on my mind

i can't help myself from crying

coz i'm missing you so much........

all the pain & sadness are still inside my heart

all the memories i still preserve in my mind

which moved me to miss you so much

coz i can't hide the fact that i'm still inlove with you

my life will never be the same again

now that you're gone

i'll be trapped in this loneliness forever

unless a guy like you will come into my life....

i thought this was a letter i would never had to write,

i hope my tongue was something i could bite.

i've realized its just something i cannot do,

here are my feelings, naming just a few.

the time had passed,

yet i'm still in love with you

everyday you're on my mind,

but your love is with someone else now,

im so jealous, she is a lucky girl.

will we ever be together again?

i ask myself a hundred times as i sob

but as each day passes,

i am losing hope.